Art is a Rollercoaster

So I haven't posted in awhile, I've been going through a weird phase. Just generally not happy with my art. Haven't been studying much lately and have been trying out using reference instead, definitely like studies more, I'll still use reference for little things. Like I don't really see much of a point in having to study something like a lion paw if I can't get it to look just right. But if I have to study a whole lion then I will take the time to do that, even if it's just a quick sketch.

Anyway, I'm just kinda on the down part of the whole art rollercoaster right now. Feelin shitty about my work and about most of what I produce. I'm trying to keep a level head and know that I just need to make more time to doodle and sketch my own stuff from imagination so that I don't become a study slave and that after I finish this book cover I'm working on for a client I can start back on a new portfolio piece. I just kinda have been freaking myself out lately with wanting to get better as fast as possible. And I got really nervous about me not using references and had to really struggle to decide whether I want to get better or if I want to get better work out more. And honestly I know I can do both, I don't want to become a slave to reference but only use it here and there if I'm stuck on a part of the pose or something. And I apologize for writing this long of a thing in my sketchbook, just kinda feels nice to write out my thoughts on what I've been thinking about. It's been the reference thing, getting better, worrying about getting work, worrying about my portfolio, blah blah blah. I've been considering just taking a break from Facebook and maybe only use it at the end of every day to check messages and maybe post some art on there, I personally just can't handle seeing other peoples work on there. I have some issues with jealousy and I start to get the idea in my head that likes = better when it doesn't. More likes can mean your better but it could also just mean more people see your work, or you connect with more people so they want to like it. This is actually why I quit posting in the daily spitpaint group on FB. An image of mine got a lot of attention and I was really surprised and happy, but afterward it sort of set a standard. Like "ok, my next one has to be just as creative and just as good or better." But really it could mean so many things other than how good it was. I wasn't taking the group as a fun activity and instead seeing it from a business perspective, I was marketing myself. Just another place to show that I do art. So anyway, gonna try that out and try and stay a little more positive. Take the time I don't spend on Facebook and go outside and do junk or something.

For now here's some art. <3